Paddy West Polka

(intro: parody of "Paddy West [traditional]" ends with starting hits)

F - C - F ....Bb - C - Bb - C - F C F 
Paddy West will help you to be free
as you lead a rich and daring life upon the wintr'y sea, a
F - C - F ....Bb - C - Bb - C - F C F  
Sailor's Life, now that's the life for me,
and you can have it all - for just a modest fee!

F - - Bb - - C - - F Bb F
I once was a banker, and I once was a sweep,
I delivered packages, and I took care of sheep,
F - - Bb - - C - - G  G7 C
But Paddy West he found me, and this he did propose:
"You Can Make a Fortune without taking off your clothes!"

I hated my vocation, twas' hard and boring work,
Then the Paddy West School taught me to professionally shirk,
You can go to college, spending years to learn a trade,
but there's a school for you where you'll always make the grade,

We'll teach you how to hoist and tar, and how to drill and plug,
and most important: How to use your dinghy as a tug!
You'll learn knots and sailing, you'll travel near and far,
And you'll learn to navigate, your way to every bar!

A sailor sees the world and travels 'round the map,
he's just one set of dungarees and maybe has the clap,
But gals line up to see him as he's headed down the dock,
for he's got loads of cash and he always cleans his smock.

(instrumental break)

A sailor's life is glorious, a sailor's life is grand,
sipping tropic drinks, on warm Jamaican sand,
or you can be a banker, when money's always sparse,
or sweeping out a chimney, and freezing off your arse!

So forget those trade shools, with lessons dull and dreary,
head on down to Paddy West, where teaching's just in theory,
Bring a bit of cash, and you will sing our praise,
as you become a Captain, in under just five days!